Colloquium Scholarships apparently still available

The deadline is June 1. Write to Arlene Oost-Zinner at
I understand you have to convince her that you are worth the money.

I won’t be able to attend, but I really like getting picked for things, so I decided to save time and combine my application with my letter of decline:

If I attend colloquium
how fortunate would be
the many traddie chanters there
who got to talk to me.

I’d wow them with my discourse
and astound them with my smile.
They’ll giggle at my funny jokes,
succumbing to my wile.

I’ll even have an impact
on the quality of sound-
my perfect elocution
will inspire vowels round.

And did I mention prayerfulness?
Why, some call me a saint!
My thoughts have so much altitude
it makes a sinner faint.

I’m probably the smartest person
I have ever known.
My mom thinks I’m a winner, and
she’s likely not alone.

So you should let me come to your
colloquium of chant.
But even if you picked me, well-
I’m sorry but I can’t.

I’m soon to have a baby,
and I think the baby’s mom
would object to my departure,
so to keep domestic calm

I will have to stay in Texas
where the cattle horns are long,
while my friends at the colloqu’um
raise their voice in solemn song.

3 Replies to “Colloquium Scholarships apparently still available”

  1. I nominate this post as the cheekiest and funniest of the week. God bless the wife and child in their moment of hard work, discomfort and joy.

  2. Yes, Adam, you deserve some kind of award for this!

    BTW, I've been trying to think of a name for our schola and you gave me one:

    The Traddie Chanters.

    Somehow with a name like that I think we should wear kilts and bagpipes, too, although my husband thought it should be changed to the Chatty Traddies.

    P.S. Congratulations on the baby news and best wishes to you and your wife.

  3. Loving this! I've been known to miss for the same reason. Congrats!!

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